The comeback... no, it wasn't just hype

Well, you asked for it (at least one person did :-) ) and so I've decided that nein.blogspot which "no longer was", is now back again.

Truth be told, I missed writing on this blog. Granted that myotherfakeme.blogspot will continue, but it has a different "feel" and rhythm to it...

Of love, being faithful and getting someone back in "The Last Kiss"

"I love her, Stephen. I realize now I love her more than I will ever love anybody else"
"Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing"
"But it's true"
"It still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts. And you did do this thing, right?"
He nods and says: "I just saw the rest of my life, and there were no more surprises. This was it. I mean, it was great... But it was it"
"What makes you think this isn't gonna happen again?"
"I know it won't"
"Oh, right"
"Come on! Aren't we supposed to be able to learn from our mistakes? I did something horrible, but I learned from it. I met this little brunette and I faltered. Are you telling me that throughout your entire marriage you never faltered?"
Stephen stays quiet
"You haven't? Never?"
"Never"
"Oh, that makes me feel great"
"You think it's because I wasn't tempted? You think that this woman is the last brunette that's ever gonna let you know that she wants you? Look at me. I haven't met my last brunette"
"She's the last one I'm gonna kiss. I'm in love with your daughter, Stephen. And maybe that doesn't mean anything to you, but I'm standing here. You're her father. I'm looking you in the eyes and I'm telling you, I will do anything in the world to get your daughter back"
"Really? Anything?"
"I'll do anything"
"People say that. They don't mean it"
"But I mean it"
"Well, it's very simple. Just do whatever it takes"
"It's that simple?"
"Yes. You can't fail if you don't give up."

Signs you might be in love or on the verge of

* You say stupid things you weren't meant to say and you aren't even drunk.

* You try and create opportunities to talk / email / text her that are tremendously lame, in fact "Homer" lame.

* You fall a sleep with extreme difficulty and wake up at odd hours and can't go back to sleep again... all this and there isn't any more jet lag to blame.

* You write blog posts on it.

What I got on my "style of seduction" quiz

Disclaimer: I do not agree with the findings the very least... I am actually shocked.

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Venice and Paris

The last time I went to Venice I truly hated it. I thought I would love it. After all it's the city of romance. Well, I went alone so I ended up writing, writing and writing and not much more. It wasn't fun... at all. I didn't like the city... it was end of Summer, but there were too many tourists. I had been there before and it wasn't like that. Sure, I was a kid then, but it wasn't.

Paris... I've been there tons of times on work, leisure. I've even lived there for a while and I always see something positive about the city... it just takes me away with the flow and all of a sudden, even if I don't want to, I fall in love with something, with someone. It's just one of those cities.

Throughout the years I always thought that Paris stood for passion, whereas Venice stood for the more mature love, even true love. Today, I'm sure or at least I believe in it.

The theory - there had to be one - is that although I've in love (passion love) several times in Paris and have even enjoyed the city while in a relationship... there has to be more. There has to be a "true love" city and I bet on Venice.

So, I would say I am just looking to enjoy Venice truly. It has to be possible after all. Maybe it will just be about taking someone special (the one?!) there. Well, it's a tremendous responsibility for one city, but you can't blaim me at aiming at that.

Copenhagen

There is such a thing as "love at first sight"... well, not really love, but "passion at first sight". It happens with girls, special icons and with cities... My experience in Copenhagen was exactly that. After Sweden, Finland and Norway, this was the Scandinavian country I was missing... and it was truly an exceptional experience.

First of all, I was lucky enough to choose a cool hotel, the Skt. Petri. After talking to the incredibly nice concierge/receptionist at the hotel, I was told there were 2 or 3 clubs that were quite hip in Copenhagen and I ended up going to one of them: Nasa. She was kind enough to put me on the guest list and the experience was quite good: lovely space, beautiful women and very good hip-hop music. The DJ could have been better, but nothing is perfect.

The concierge also told me that, strangely enough, one of the coolest bars in town was actually the "Bar Rouge" at the hotel. I thought it was "please spend some more money with us" propaganda, but she was totally right. What a place! Cool music (very good DJ), incredible bar staff in terms of cocktails and service and the women... well, the women were... how can I put it? ... exceptional.

At this stage one would ask: Why is this guy so obsessed with women? Well, first I'm heterosexual and at the moment I'm single, so that would be a good enough reason, but it's more than that: I have this strong belief that women are the single most exceptional work of art that we men have been given the possibility to see here on Earth. That's probably why I prefer cool bars to museums, women to statues or paintings. When you have the real thing, why would you go for a copy.

Well, I have to admit it, I like quite a lot of paintings and sculptures, but I'm just trying to make a point here.

"And the point is?"

The point is that by some wish of God, Denmark has been blessed with some of the most beautiful women in the world. Next to the Czech Republic and Slovakia, probably the most beautiful in Europe (on an average basis of course :-) ). Why? We will never know... but for a strange tourist like me, definitely well worth another visit.

In marketing, one often talks about segmentation.
On a high-level perspective, a segment of people or potential customers are a group of people that seem to value a number of the same attributes in a specific product or range of products.
Ok, I’m not going to consider a man as a product, but for arguments sake, let’s try and have some understanding on what could differentiate a woman:

1) Physical appearance: this is the easy one, i.e., it is the one every man has a clear and specific opinion on. It’s the first thing you see. Even before talking, you are already evaluating a woman on her looks (mind you, the probably… stupid me… they definitely do the same to us). The most important attributes come in a specific order. Studies have shown that in Latin countries such as Portugal, men typically value 1) Breasts; 2) Bottom; 3) Face. Of course, this changes from man to man. Some could value 1) Face; 2) Eyes; 3) Hands (got me on that one).

2) Intellect: I would separate sheer intellect from other attributes. Intellect is about intelligence. Ability to think, ability to communicate (some would argue that’s part of other attributes… but hey, this my Blog). It is a common stereotype that men don’t value this attribute that much. They do. I just think some (not many actually) value it as having a negative impact on the overall “evaluation” of a woman (hey, maybe Natalie Portmann is right after all). Other things lie under intellect such as cultural knowledge and even common sense (if there is one).

3) Personality: often mistaken for intellect, but actually a different thing altogether. How sensitive is the woman? How does she project herself to others? People looking for what I would call the “Motherhood signs” and give a significant importance to this attribute. Me? Well, take a guess.

4) Poise/posture: extremely different from physical appearance. In analogy, it is for physical appearance what personality is for intellect. It is the way the physical appearance is projected. A woman with “élan” but regular beauty can become more attractive to a man than a simple stunningly beautiful woman with no “élan”.

5) Cultural background: typically defined by geographic origin and upbringing. A lot is said about Latin girls, but I would say that from my experience an average Portuguese girl is as similar to a Spanish one than to an English one. Of course, a Spanish girl that has lived all her life in Spain is different from one who has lived all her life in England, so there are few patterns here. Social background has influence, and so do many other things.

Probably you could give a list with more, much more attributes, but it really doesn’t matter, because the real problem is that it all comes down to your own view on THAT specific woman.
Some even go through the process of mentally imagining the woman they are looking for, but as I typically say the biggest risk is not that you won’t find that woman, but that you DO find her.
As Nike put it so well, “Just do it”. Don’t think, act. But don’t be stupid, don’t get trapped in the illusion of perfection. Unfortunately, insensitivity seems to be a good way of dealing with it. As a friend of mine put it, I prefer calling it “getting rid of the pedestal syndrome”.
As I (not too gently) put it: “No woman deserves that I disrespect myself by putting her in a pedestal”.
“Extreme” – you might say.

Maybe, maybe… just, just maybe.