“You have a phone call.”
“Sorry?”
“You have a phone call from a woman.”
“Who?”
“She hasn’t told me her name.”
“Thanks. Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Who is this?”
“It’s me. Don’t you recognize me?”
“Well, not really. I’m sorry. Should I?”
“Yes, you should.”
“Who are you, if I may ask?”
“I’m the woman of your life.”
“Is this a dream again?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Well, what do you look like then?”
“Surprise.”
“How old are you?”
“Surprise again.”
“Well, can you tell me anything about yourself?”
“Yes, I’m the woman of your life.”
“How will I meet you?”
“You just will, when you stop thinking about it.”
“How will I know it’s you?”
“Well, you won’t… it will just happen.”
“Like in fairy tales?”
“No, like in real life. We’ll get to meet each other. We’ll like each other more and more and we’ll spend the rest of our lives together.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes. That’s pretty much it.”
“Buzzzzzz.”
“Oh, damn, 8 o’clock again… time to get ready for work.”

Hi (Name of girl here),

You have been awfully quiet these days. Hope it’s not too much work and that you still haven’t turned into a bull-shitting, work-aholic professional :-)

There has been a very important theme in my mind for the past few days: how lousy the coffee in London is.

Since you are probably an expert in this matter, why don’t we have a coffee this weekend (a lousy one) to discuss it?
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Now, wait a minute. That would have been the e-mail I would have written to you.

With a 99% probability (or even higher, as pattern shows), you would have said you couldn’t, etc, etc.

And that’s just the part I don’t get AT ALL (yes, this is me being transparent).

I don’t know you at all. I don’t know where you are at in your life: if you’re dating someone, if you are strongly considering celibacy or even some other options that just include not receiving stupid e-mails.

My point is just that I like meeting people. If they are interesting (yes, this is the case with you and I would like to think it’s the case with me as well), I like to talk to them and get to know them better. That’s ALL. It’s really as simple as that.

Since I realize this e-mail is probably weird – even a bit shocking (it’s not too much, is it?) and definitely intrusive – as in any “spam aware” mailing-list, just send me an e-mail with the word “unsubscribe” and that’s it, no more weird and somewhat pointless e-mails.

Nein

P.S.: Forgive me for trying too hard, but I just saw too many AVIS ads when I was a kid. They used to say something like: “We are number 2, so we try harder.”
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BLOG P.S.: I never sent this e-mail and probably never will, since I think in this case in particular we are already in “unsubscribe” mode.

Having rested quite a lot the past two days and still looking to buy my first tuxedo (long story), I now see things clearly… well, not that much, but I just thought it would sound nice to say that.

Objectives for the weekend: rest, don’t think too much, go to the movies, have a nice lunch with friends… rest some more.
“Not very exciting, is it?”

No… so?

In marketing, one often talks about segmentation.
On a high-level perspective, a segment of people or potential customers are a group of people that seem to value a number of the same attributes in a specific product or range of products.
Ok, I’m not going to consider a man as a product, but for arguments sake, let’s try and have some understanding on what could differentiate a woman:

1) Physical appearance: this is the easy one, i.e., it is the one every man has a clear and specific opinion on. It’s the first thing you see. Even before talking, you are already evaluating a woman on her looks (mind you, the probably… stupid me… they definitely do the same to us). The most important attributes come in a specific order. Studies have shown that in Latin countries such as Portugal, men typically value 1) Breasts; 2) Bottom; 3) Face. Of course, this changes from man to man. Some could value 1) Face; 2) Eyes; 3) Hands (got me on that one).

2) Intellect: I would separate sheer intellect from other attributes. Intellect is about intelligence. Ability to think, ability to communicate (some would argue that’s part of other attributes… but hey, this my Blog). It is a common stereotype that men don’t value this attribute that much. They do. I just think some (not many actually) value it as having a negative impact on the overall “evaluation” of a woman (hey, maybe Natalie Portmann is right after all). Other things lie under intellect such as cultural knowledge and even common sense (if there is one).

3) Personality: often mistaken for intellect, but actually a different thing altogether. How sensitive is the woman? How does she project herself to others? People looking for what I would call the “Motherhood signs” and give a significant importance to this attribute. Me? Well, take a guess.

4) Poise/posture: extremely different from physical appearance. In analogy, it is for physical appearance what personality is for intellect. It is the way the physical appearance is projected. A woman with “élan” but regular beauty can become more attractive to a man than a simple stunningly beautiful woman with no “élan”.

5) Cultural background: typically defined by geographic origin and upbringing. A lot is said about Latin girls, but I would say that from my experience an average Portuguese girl is as similar to a Spanish one than to an English one. Of course, a Spanish girl that has lived all her life in Spain is different from one who has lived all her life in England, so there are few patterns here. Social background has influence, and so do many other things.

Probably you could give a list with more, much more attributes, but it really doesn’t matter, because the real problem is that it all comes down to your own view on THAT specific woman.
Some even go through the process of mentally imagining the woman they are looking for, but as I typically say the biggest risk is not that you won’t find that woman, but that you DO find her.
As Nike put it so well, “Just do it”. Don’t think, act. But don’t be stupid, don’t get trapped in the illusion of perfection. Unfortunately, insensitivity seems to be a good way of dealing with it. As a friend of mine put it, I prefer calling it “getting rid of the pedestal syndrome”.
As I (not too gently) put it: “No woman deserves that I disrespect myself by putting her in a pedestal”.
“Extreme” – you might say.

Maybe, maybe… just, just maybe.

Ok. Now I’m in London.
“So what?” – you might ask.
Well, so I’ve been given the chance to sort-of start over.
New job.
New life.
In a new city.
Once in a while, I go out at night for a walk.
Fortunately, I live in a nice neighbourhood and it’s good to be walking in a deserted London.
I have to think once in a while and actually just have a chance of not thinking at all.
That said, I’ve understood the peaceful life that I now have and the value of that.
I’ve also understood that I finally found myself and liked what I found.
Life is surprising, because even when you are submitted to a long on-going routine, you can always break it and thinks change ever so quickly.
“What about women?”
Always a tough question… sorry, answer.
I just don’t worry any more.
I worry a lot more about myself now. Not in a typical egotistical fashion, but rather in a self-respecting way. Respecting my body, my soul… my spiritual life.
“What about women?”
The question keeps creeping in.
The answer doesn’t.
No idea… That’s it. Never actually understood what this Blog should be about, but now I got it.
It couldn’t be about me. Definitely not about London, so it will be about women… at least some sort of distorted view (mine) on them.

Cheers.

Caso ainda não tenham reparado este é o primeiro texto em português do Blog.

Num fim-de-semana marcado pelos incêndios por todo o Portugal, poderia dissertar sobre a minha opinião sobre o país, sobre as autoridades, sobre os meus concidadãos... No entanto, vítima de egocentrismo agudo, decidi falar de mim.

Compreendi de forma inequívoca que a fase de insensibilidade a la "fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care" que me vinha a caracterizar parece estar a acabar. O problema (há sempre um) é que não sei se o que vem a seguir é melhor... ou pior.

De qualquer das formas, este texto não vai ser um daqueles de profunda introspecção... porque simplesmente não me apetece.

"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to"... or will I?

Ok... I watched "The Hulk" on Sunday, but first things first. When I was in the States, I read and watched some of the Movie Critics going on and on about the way the green guy looks on screen and that although it is a more-than-usual dark comics-based movie that had a ludicrous budget, the green guy still looks... well... a cartoon.

Well, one word to all those that ... well... criticized the movie for that particular reason: it is SUPPOSED to be a cartoon. I am not going to say it's a perfect film and when thinking about Ang Lee, other better films come to mind - the awkward but brilliant "Ride with the Devil", the magnificently simple "Sense and Sensibility" and the fantastic and pure "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". Other Ang Lee's films come to mind, but to be perfectly honest... I didn't like them that much. Still, it's a good film and the cartoon-like approach to it is an extremely good way of dealing with the improbability of most scenes.

Ang Lee showed - if it needed to be shown - that he is one of the most flexible directors around. He also showed one very important aspect of his way of directing that is actually present in all his films... the very sensitive portrait of human feelings and relationships.

"The Hulk" is all about (forgive me for just simplifying it) human nature: power, hate, love... well, all those things you will find in other films. The extraordinary thing is that here you find it in a strange, cartoon-like being... actually a green one.

P.S.: This weekend I also watched the special edition of "Once upon a time in America". I have to admit that I had never seen it before and actually liked it. The strange thing is that I recognized the young girl portraying "Young Deborah" (I hadn't seen the credits I assure you). At first I knew I had seen her somewhere else, but only when I watched "The Hulk" did I realize it was Jennifer Connelly... "So what?" Well, nothing. Just wanted to share it with you all.

Ok this is becoming serious... way too serious. Not so long ago, I told one of my professional mentors that "one should never take oneself too serious". He nodded.

Now, it's my time to nod and to try to understand what is going on... A sunny weekend will provide me with all the light I can bear at this time.

"Too sensitive to the sun?"

Maybe, just maybe. We'll see...

Ok, this is the first log... some years ago I tried doing the same thing but ended up getting tangled in the not-so-important-extra-activities-that-must-be-eliminated-so-that-you-can-work-too-much-without-really-being-that-happy-about-it syndrome. I had my "digital storytelling" period way back in 1998 (or was it 1999?), but also got lost in the aforementioned syndrome.

Now it's for real...

"What is it going to be about?"

Well, tune in for the next episode and you'll probably get it ... and hopefully so will I.

P.S.: For further reference, please see "Thoughts" or the previous Blog "Thoughts on Thoughts" (too ashamed to post the link here)