Scene 1

Exchange of texts between a man and a woman:

Man: “I apologise for tonight’s behaviour… Actually I don’t… Needed an excuse to send u a message. Hi. I’m __. I’m a bit of a bastard. I’m 27. Who are u again :P”
Woman: “Sorry not into bastards ;)”
Man: “Shame”
Woman: “I’m just ur typical girl that’s been hurt too much and trusts noone – some day I’ll meet nice guy but not ready for it yet – ignore all that, me tipsy – see ya tomorrow”
Man: “Can relate. Wasn’t bastard… Suffered. Now, still only mini bastard. Sort of tipsy but not apologetic :P Will want to see u tomorrow if u want it too :)”
Woman: no reply
Man (day after): “Still tipsy ? :)”
Woman: no reply
Man: “Should I still ignore what u sent me yesterday/today? Personally would hope u would reconsider one or 2 things :P”
Woman: no reply
Man: nothing else to say

I all started some hours earlier.
Woman: “Hi, I’m ___. You must be ___”
Man: “Yes, I am.”

She looked ravishing and he liked her straight away. There was something about her.

Further down the night, after talking quite a few times and some very serious conversations and a lot of drinks.
Man: “Sorry to be changing the subject altogether, but you are cute.”
Woman: smiled

Scene 2

Singapore close to Boat Quay, man trying to get a taxi cab (nearly impossible in the evening in Singapore).

Taxi cab stops.

Man stands by the door.
Woman inside taxi cab starts paying.
Beautiful woman, Asian but certain with other influences.
Woman knocks on the windows of the car.
Tells man to get in.
He does.
She says it’s much nicer insider.
He agrees.
He wasn’t talking about the air-conditioning.
She leaves the cab.
He thanks her.
She smiles.

Conclusion
Both scenes seem to be subject to the same iconic moment: the smile. Unfortunately, neither one of them ends well.

Nevertheless, the second scene was nice. There was no relation between both of them. They did not spend more than 5 minutes together and most of it on different sides of the window of a taxi cab. It was nice. It probably nice for the man in the scene.

The first scene is intense. It is fast paced and the man would probably have gone through the several feelings in a passional/seduction process: he gets interested, he engages in talking to her, he tries to seduce her, he tries to get her into a more serious mode.

Trouble is: if the man in scene 2 were the ask the woman in the cab to stay or have some drinks with him, it would have looked ridiculous. So what about scene 1, what would make it ridiculous… probably it looks already ridiculous. How can you go from “Hi, how are you?” to “Maybe we should have something more serious going on” in less than 12 hours?

The problem with these scenes are not the actions or hypothetical actions of both men. The problem with these scenes and at the same time what makes them more or less vivid is the timescale. They are fast paced, they are intense and they end up in disappointment. One probably a true one… the other one just a “what if” one.
Maybe the key to this all is time … just time.

"We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield"

Everyone must remember this music... I watched the not brilliant, not bad "13 going 30". Apart from a gorgeous Jennifer Garner, this music stuck in my mind.

I have no deep thoughts to share with you today... just this music segment.

Aqui vai uma descrição resumida das férias... ok, não é uma descrição e devido aos "esforços" de um determinado Banco quase que não eram férias, mas enfim...

Nova Iorque: cidade extraordinária, como o chamado "buzz" que até hoje só senti em Londres. Há 7 anos escrevi: "London is calling". Hoje ouso escrever: "New York is calling". Quem sabe, quem sabe...

Guggenheim: Eu não gosto de museus, mas adorei este. É informal, simpático e tinha 2 exposições muito interessantes: "Hands", que basicamente era uma colecção de fotografias sobre... you guessed it... mãos. Muito bonito. Outra era à partida um loser na minha avaliação: arte contemporânea... abstracta... baseada em escultura... de um tal de Constantin Brancusi. O nome e explicação da exposição é que colocaram tudo em perspectiva: "The Essence of Things". Não adiantando mais... fez-se luz.

"I, Robot" et al: Or should I say "Ai, ai, que é que eu estou aqui a fazer?". Mais a sério, não é demasiado mau, esperava pior, mas ao pé do quase extraordinário "Artificial Intelligence" fica um pouco aquem. Vi igualmente o "Spiderman 2", que é bom, mas não tão bom o primeiro e o inacreditável "Before Sunset". Detestei o primeiro filme... mas este é muito bom. Aconselho vivamente. Dá muito que pensar.

"Sight Unseen": A melhor peça que vi na minha vida. A fabulosa Laura Linney deslumbra, mas os outros dois actores e actriz iluminam igualmente . Fabuloso, simplesmente fabuloso.

Midtown e Upper East Side: As áreas onde passei mais tempo estão aprovadissimas. De Central Park a Times Square é tudo, ou quase tudo, muito interessante. Mais a sul adorei Soho e Greenwich Village. O Ground Zero fez me sentir mal e - admito - quase chorar.

"Why pride is more important than money": Livro gentilmente cedido... ou seja dado por um Project Leader da McKinsey após originalmente me ter oferecido o "Creative Destruction". Livro razoável e curto sobre motivação de R.H. por um tal de Katzenbach, ex-McKinsey (duh!!!) e hoje com a sua própria firma. Essencialmente, uma ode aos Marines e ao Marvin Bower.

"The curious incident of the dog in the night time": LIVRO MAGNÍFICO, EXCEPCIONAL... o que quiserem. Basicamente um "policial" narrado (livro de ficção, claro está) por um miúdo com síndrome de Asperger, uma espécie de autismo. ABSOLUTAMENTE "MUST READ". Concordo com a crítica do Guardian: "Superbly realised... A funny as well as sad book... BRILLIANT."

Citibank: Sem comentários. As merdas (perdoem-me a palavra) que estes senhores fizeram com a minha conta davam para a sequela do "Processo" de Kafka. Inacreditável a falta de tudo que foi ilustrada pelos eventos da última semana.

Kafka: Em relação aos problemas do Banco só tenho a dizer que apesar de tudo o stress foi minimizado... muito bom sinal. Talvez já seja adulto, after all.

Hudson Hotel: Hotel excelente. Absolutamente nada a dizer. Ver próximas referências. Valeu 50% (talvez esteja a exagerar) da viagem a Nova Iorque.

Sky Terrace: Terraço/Esplanada no 15o. andar do Hotel... Cadeiras de piscina sem piscina mas com tudo o resto, duches, miúdas giras, sol e vista sobre a cidade e Rio Hudson. 5 estrelas. Momentos de felicidade.

Library Bar: Mais um dos bares do Hudson. Cool, jazzy, mas quase vazio... Deviam estar todos no Sky Terrace ou no Hudson Bar.

Hudson Bar: Um dos bares cool de N. Iorque. A J. Lo vai lá muitas vezes (não a vi) e o Matt Damon teve lá a festa do seu 30o. aniversário. Muito cool, música excelente, decoração irrepreensível, miúdas... ai, ai.

Quarto: Pequeno, quase demasiado... mas muito cool (será que eu já disse esta palavra antes). A cama e o colchão incríveis (nada de boquinhas).

Serviço: Em N. Iorque e em particular no Hotel muito perto da perfeição... à americana. E as empregadas de mesa... ai, ai.

Raparigas: Muitas e muito giras. N. Iorque é parecida com Londres, muitas miúdas de diversas nacionalidades. Vantagem do Hudson é que muitas das miúdas giras andam por aqui... chamem-me preguiçoso... eu prefiro iluminado :-)

Aeroporto JFK: Do mais confuso que há. Heathrow parece um livro de crianças por comparação. Estou a pensar comprar um dos terminais... pelos vistos todos podem ter um. Nos EUA chama-se liberalização e livre empreendorismo. Na Europa chama-se estupidez.

Férias: "Que é isso?" Bolas, férias é onde o homem (sorry, girls) quer, quando ele quer. É um estado de espirito. A única coisa que não nos podem tirar é quem somos... a nossa essência.

Deus: Sim, Ele também anda por Nova Iorque. Se alguém viu uma personagem parecida o Kramer (em demência) mas mais forte e baixo a falar consigo próprio (parecia estar a reza)... dirija-o para mim.

Beijinhos e abraços de Londres (após Nova Iorque)

Phase 2 has just started. Phase 1 went without any major problems and we’re ahead of schedule.

It has to be a clean, mature process, but it will happen. It will definitely happen.

The Tempest

No, not the film. On Saturday evening, I just went out for a walk in the evening. All normal, no rain. Prayed a bit and said something (don’t actually remember the original phrase so I keep making a new one every time I say it): “Lord, give me the grace to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the ones I can”.

1 minute after I said this, it started raining, really, really strong. Then the wind just became incredible (my umbrella really suffered from that). It just looked like a tempest. It went on for 5 minutes, but it just looked to go on for ages.

I was able to hold on to the umbrella and come back home, safe and sound.

What did I learn from this?

I learnt that for one, just writing a simple “A bit shocked you can’t come.” in an SMS can prove to be an incredible mistake. I also learnt that I sometimes over-analyse and lose track of what’s going on...

Yes, you might be wondering if this is a true story... it actually is.

“Just RELAX” – I keep saying to myself. “Just RELAX!”

“You have a phone call.”
“Sorry?”
“You have a phone call from a woman.”
“Who?”
“She hasn’t told me her name.”
“Thanks. Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Who is this?”
“It’s me. Don’t you recognize me?”
“Well, not really. I’m sorry. Should I?”
“Yes, you should.”
“Who are you, if I may ask?”
“I’m the woman of your life.”
“Is this a dream again?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Well, what do you look like then?”
“Surprise.”
“How old are you?”
“Surprise again.”
“Well, can you tell me anything about yourself?”
“Yes, I’m the woman of your life.”
“How will I meet you?”
“You just will, when you stop thinking about it.”
“How will I know it’s you?”
“Well, you won’t… it will just happen.”
“Like in fairy tales?”
“No, like in real life. We’ll get to meet each other. We’ll like each other more and more and we’ll spend the rest of our lives together.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes. That’s pretty much it.”
“Buzzzzzz.”
“Oh, damn, 8 o’clock again… time to get ready for work.”

Hi (Name of girl here),

You have been awfully quiet these days. Hope it’s not too much work and that you still haven’t turned into a bull-shitting, work-aholic professional :-)

There has been a very important theme in my mind for the past few days: how lousy the coffee in London is.

Since you are probably an expert in this matter, why don’t we have a coffee this weekend (a lousy one) to discuss it?
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Now, wait a minute. That would have been the e-mail I would have written to you.

With a 99% probability (or even higher, as pattern shows), you would have said you couldn’t, etc, etc.

And that’s just the part I don’t get AT ALL (yes, this is me being transparent).

I don’t know you at all. I don’t know where you are at in your life: if you’re dating someone, if you are strongly considering celibacy or even some other options that just include not receiving stupid e-mails.

My point is just that I like meeting people. If they are interesting (yes, this is the case with you and I would like to think it’s the case with me as well), I like to talk to them and get to know them better. That’s ALL. It’s really as simple as that.

Since I realize this e-mail is probably weird – even a bit shocking (it’s not too much, is it?) and definitely intrusive – as in any “spam aware” mailing-list, just send me an e-mail with the word “unsubscribe” and that’s it, no more weird and somewhat pointless e-mails.

Nein

P.S.: Forgive me for trying too hard, but I just saw too many AVIS ads when I was a kid. They used to say something like: “We are number 2, so we try harder.”
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BLOG P.S.: I never sent this e-mail and probably never will, since I think in this case in particular we are already in “unsubscribe” mode.

Having rested quite a lot the past two days and still looking to buy my first tuxedo (long story), I now see things clearly… well, not that much, but I just thought it would sound nice to say that.

Objectives for the weekend: rest, don’t think too much, go to the movies, have a nice lunch with friends… rest some more.
“Not very exciting, is it?”

No… so?

In marketing, one often talks about segmentation.
On a high-level perspective, a segment of people or potential customers are a group of people that seem to value a number of the same attributes in a specific product or range of products.
Ok, I’m not going to consider a man as a product, but for arguments sake, let’s try and have some understanding on what could differentiate a woman:

1) Physical appearance: this is the easy one, i.e., it is the one every man has a clear and specific opinion on. It’s the first thing you see. Even before talking, you are already evaluating a woman on her looks (mind you, the probably… stupid me… they definitely do the same to us). The most important attributes come in a specific order. Studies have shown that in Latin countries such as Portugal, men typically value 1) Breasts; 2) Bottom; 3) Face. Of course, this changes from man to man. Some could value 1) Face; 2) Eyes; 3) Hands (got me on that one).

2) Intellect: I would separate sheer intellect from other attributes. Intellect is about intelligence. Ability to think, ability to communicate (some would argue that’s part of other attributes… but hey, this my Blog). It is a common stereotype that men don’t value this attribute that much. They do. I just think some (not many actually) value it as having a negative impact on the overall “evaluation” of a woman (hey, maybe Natalie Portmann is right after all). Other things lie under intellect such as cultural knowledge and even common sense (if there is one).

3) Personality: often mistaken for intellect, but actually a different thing altogether. How sensitive is the woman? How does she project herself to others? People looking for what I would call the “Motherhood signs” and give a significant importance to this attribute. Me? Well, take a guess.

4) Poise/posture: extremely different from physical appearance. In analogy, it is for physical appearance what personality is for intellect. It is the way the physical appearance is projected. A woman with “élan” but regular beauty can become more attractive to a man than a simple stunningly beautiful woman with no “élan”.

5) Cultural background: typically defined by geographic origin and upbringing. A lot is said about Latin girls, but I would say that from my experience an average Portuguese girl is as similar to a Spanish one than to an English one. Of course, a Spanish girl that has lived all her life in Spain is different from one who has lived all her life in England, so there are few patterns here. Social background has influence, and so do many other things.

Probably you could give a list with more, much more attributes, but it really doesn’t matter, because the real problem is that it all comes down to your own view on THAT specific woman.
Some even go through the process of mentally imagining the woman they are looking for, but as I typically say the biggest risk is not that you won’t find that woman, but that you DO find her.
As Nike put it so well, “Just do it”. Don’t think, act. But don’t be stupid, don’t get trapped in the illusion of perfection. Unfortunately, insensitivity seems to be a good way of dealing with it. As a friend of mine put it, I prefer calling it “getting rid of the pedestal syndrome”.
As I (not too gently) put it: “No woman deserves that I disrespect myself by putting her in a pedestal”.
“Extreme” – you might say.

Maybe, maybe… just, just maybe.

Ok. Now I’m in London.
“So what?” – you might ask.
Well, so I’ve been given the chance to sort-of start over.
New job.
New life.
In a new city.
Once in a while, I go out at night for a walk.
Fortunately, I live in a nice neighbourhood and it’s good to be walking in a deserted London.
I have to think once in a while and actually just have a chance of not thinking at all.
That said, I’ve understood the peaceful life that I now have and the value of that.
I’ve also understood that I finally found myself and liked what I found.
Life is surprising, because even when you are submitted to a long on-going routine, you can always break it and thinks change ever so quickly.
“What about women?”
Always a tough question… sorry, answer.
I just don’t worry any more.
I worry a lot more about myself now. Not in a typical egotistical fashion, but rather in a self-respecting way. Respecting my body, my soul… my spiritual life.
“What about women?”
The question keeps creeping in.
The answer doesn’t.
No idea… That’s it. Never actually understood what this Blog should be about, but now I got it.
It couldn’t be about me. Definitely not about London, so it will be about women… at least some sort of distorted view (mine) on them.

Cheers.