Re-evaluating life

So let's re-evaluate my life from where I was some months ago (when I decided to close the blog):

> - don't like the city I'm supposed to live in;
I like it much more now due to something that happened (see below). Have actually found myself thinking of Beijing more and more as my home ... albeit a strange one.

> - have metaphysical doubts about the work I do;
Well, the doubts remain.

> - have come closer to my parents and family albeit living several thousand miles
> apart;
Still very much true.

> - have probably fallen in... Liking for someone (she probably would not like the
> other l word)... she just needs to find out;
This is the biggest change. The person I felt "in Liking with" strangely became more distant and out of the blue... I fell in love with a girl. I call her "Tinker Bell"... and she calls me... a lot of things, although "Peter Pan" seems to be her appropriate favourite. I think we are truly in love and everything is moving very fast... albeit not too fast.

> - found that my life is in general quite good and I should just stop complaining
>(some higher meaning here, but will not go into it).
Life is indeed good and hope it will stay so for many years to come.

The comeback... no, it wasn't just hype

Well, you asked for it (at least one person did :-) ) and so I've decided that nein.blogspot which "no longer was", is now back again.

Truth be told, I missed writing on this blog. Granted that myotherfakeme.blogspot will continue, but it has a different "feel" and rhythm to it...

The last post

Well, this is the last one. I still have things I want to write about, but have decided to close this chapter ... Or small book.

No more appropriate time than Easter. Having participated in the Vigil yesterday in Singapore, I did feel as if was being reborn. Not in a "revolutionary" way, but steadily throughout the cerimony I felt different.

Maybe this is it... A new phase... One I will not count or name. One that will just take place and change my life yet again.

Status point of my life right now:
- don't like the city I'm supposed to live in;
- have metaphysical doubts about the work I do;
- have come closer to my parents and family albeit living several thousand miles apart;
- have probably fallen in... Liking for someone (she probably would not like the other l word)... she just needs to find out;
- found that my life is in general quite good and I should just stop complaining (some higher meaning here, but will not go into it).

See you around.

P.S.: will keep posting some stuff on myotherfakeme.

About someone else...

Although I write mostly about myself or always trying to come from my own perspective, I've normally found myself looking at others and trying to make sense of what they do, how they interact.

I call it "modern anthropology", but it's basically just spending time in restaurants, bars, clubs looking at other people... and, more often than not, looking at girls/women.

What still fascinates me are the differences: the different postures, the nature of the smiles, the reactions to events and words, and then obviously the nature of beauty. Not just external beauty, but also the internal beauty... what some call the aura, what I call (just to be different) the "light".

Recently though, I got stuck. Stuck in my view of this beautiful charming world of girl observation.

Stuck because for years I looked for sense in attitudes, in smiles and overall the hollistic view seemed to be whole rather than fragmented, ie, I found that beautiful girls would stay beautiful regardless of circumstances and nice girls would stay nice no matter what pressures they would get from the outside.

Now, I feel fooled by my initial instincts, by what I watched.

Is it possible that women have lost their composure, their apparent "purity", their "unclear" clarity of actions? or have they never had it in the first place and I was just fooled all these years?

I meditated tremendously on this over a couple of G&Ts and some genuinely good tunes at the bar of the hotel I'm staying at and... the conclusion is that I was most probably fooled from day one.

Yet something still doesn't feel right. Instead of being happy with this new insight and looking forward to putting it in practice, I just want to go back to my naive self.

I want to feel that things are simple, even if they really aren't.

I shall call this my "blissfully ignorant" phase.

Smile more!

I was in a reasonably intensive training last week and it was mostly focused on leadership. The key finding: I should smile more.

At this time, some of you will smile or even laugh thinking "One whole week of training and that was the key thing?"

Well, yes, but what an important thing it really is.

I have tried it after I left the training ... even in my own personal life and I've seen change... a major one, not only on how people interact with me and are nicer, but also on how I feel about myself: relaxed, re-invigorated, more patient.

Fantastic what a smile can do, isn't it?

Hummingbirds do fly

Oh yes, they do. Or so I've been told.

Ordinary People by John Legend

This song doesn't remind me of any situation in particular, but the music (the piano, oh the piano) with these lyrics just elevate me when I listen to it... over and over again.

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Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

Almost on top of the world

And still thinking of...

Sleepy

Or is it jet-lagged? Humm, still pretty comfy

Series: 3rd Rock from the Sun

6 incredible series and we learnt what being human is all about. Oh, the stupidity of it all... yet, we found the comedy in our own very human actions and responsibilities. All of this through the eyes of 4 (sometimes more) aliens.

A classic in comedy. A fantastic criticism on what makes us all... human.

Series: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

And Aaron Sorkin does it again.

After the incredible West Wing, he is back to do with the counter-power of media and television, what he previously did with politics.

Fantastic cast of actors and actresses: some that we know from the West Wing and others that we simply know... Matthew Perry (Matt) from Friends is the flagship example.

Tremendously sharp screenplays, break-neck speed dialogues and we know it's Sorkin... it could only be Sorkin.

Haven't finished watching the first season yet, but I have to say I utterly love it ... and it's actually funny.

Acrobat by U2

Don't believe what you hear
Don't believe what you see
If you just close your eyes
You can feel the enemy
When I first met you girl
You had fire in your soul
What happened your face
Of melting in snow
Now it looks like this

And you can swallow
Or you can spit
You can throw it up
Or choke on it
And you can dream
So dream out loud
You know that your time is coming 'round
So don't let the bastards grind you down

No, nothing makes sense
Nothing seems to fit
I know you'd hit out
If you only knew who to hit
And I'd join the movement
If there was one I could believe in
Yeah I'd break bread and wine
If there was a church I could receive in
'cause I need it now

To take a cup
To fill it up
To drink it slow
I can't let you go
I must be an acrobat
To talk like this
And act like that
And you can dream
So dream out loud
And don't let the bastards grind you down

Oh, it hurts baby
(What are we going to do now it's all been said)
(No new ideas in the house and every book has been read)

And I must be an acrobat
To talk like this
And act like that
And you can dream
So dream out loud
And you can find
Your own way out
You can build
And I can will
And you can call
I can't wait until
You can stash
And you can seize
In dreams begin
Responsibilities
And I can love
And I can love
And I know that the tide is turning 'round
So don't let the bastards grind you down

Faith by Czesław Miłosz

This poem was dedicated to me by my great friend Gorod.

I really like it.

New blog

Have decided to create a new blog... My other fake me.

Check it out.

A wii exercise

Well, I bought a Wii. I really couldn't resist it after peer pressure and also I found the whole thing let's say a bit ... goofy, which is good.

To convince myself, I kept saying that unlike the PS3 - my more serious game playing machine - this would become my exercise unit at home.

After a couple of issues (bought the Japanese version... stupid me), I did finally get it to work and played a bit of tennis. Today, I finally decided to test the Wii Sports suite to its most and play baseball, bowling and even do some boxing.

30 minutes later I can only say that although I did think I was sort of bullshitting when I tried to convince myself that it would be a good way of exercising... it actually IS a good way of exercising. I'm beat and re-invigorated and it was fun, surprisingly fun. I can do it alone, with friends and 30 minutes a day would not be bad exercise at all.

Anyway, buy a Wii if you want to exercise and are fed-up of trying gyms that you rarely go to.

Film: Babel

Inarritu does it again: a movie with inter-linked stories that come together in tragic yet meaningful ways.

So what's new?

Not much and that's the problem. Mind you, the movie is beautiful, some of the interpretations like that of the Morrocan peasant and his children are mesmerizing, the Japanese story is really well constructed - exceptional moments like the one in the disco with the deaf-mute girl, Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett are not bad at all, etc.

So what's wrong?

Well, it doesn't surprise us and take us to the next level of film-watching like Amores Perros. I also don't think it achieves to punch us in the stomach like 21 grams and that's about it. It is a really good movie, with some extremely well crafted interpretations, with a very sound screenplay, but it just fails to innovate. Better yet, it fails to reach the bar that Inarrity has put on himself with his previous movies.

Of love, being faithful and getting someone back in "The Last Kiss"

"I love her, Stephen. I realize now I love her more than I will ever love anybody else"
"Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing"
"But it's true"
"It still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts. And you did do this thing, right?"
He nods and says: "I just saw the rest of my life, and there were no more surprises. This was it. I mean, it was great... But it was it"
"What makes you think this isn't gonna happen again?"
"I know it won't"
"Oh, right"
"Come on! Aren't we supposed to be able to learn from our mistakes? I did something horrible, but I learned from it. I met this little brunette and I faltered. Are you telling me that throughout your entire marriage you never faltered?"
Stephen stays quiet
"You haven't? Never?"
"Never"
"Oh, that makes me feel great"
"You think it's because I wasn't tempted? You think that this woman is the last brunette that's ever gonna let you know that she wants you? Look at me. I haven't met my last brunette"
"She's the last one I'm gonna kiss. I'm in love with your daughter, Stephen. And maybe that doesn't mean anything to you, but I'm standing here. You're her father. I'm looking you in the eyes and I'm telling you, I will do anything in the world to get your daughter back"
"Really? Anything?"
"I'll do anything"
"People say that. They don't mean it"
"But I mean it"
"Well, it's very simple. Just do whatever it takes"
"It's that simple?"
"Yes. You can't fail if you don't give up."

Film: The Queen

What an exquisite film.

First, very well defined story-line and characters that we can all relate to: a superbly tight story that has all the ingredients for a melo-drama/comedy.

Then, the interpretations, but one more than any other: Helen Mirren. What an astonishing performance. An Oscar-worthy one, I would dare say. Or at least one that will be reminded like Jodie Foster in Nell (what a robbery that was), Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry or Million Dollar Baby, Meryl Streep in so many of her movies, the intelectually brilliant Natalie Portman in Beautiful Girls, Leon or Closer, and the little (she was 4 at that time, wasn't she) Victoire Thivisol that interpreted Ponette in such a tremendously professional and exquisite way and that fully deserved the honor she received in Venice.

Watch it. You will enjoy it.

P.S.: I was once just behind Ms. Mirren boarding at LAX into a BA flight to London. I was extremely happy because I noticed she was in seat 60 something which is a sign she was flying Club World in the Upper Deck, which I was as well. I was then interrupted by the boarding agent who told me I had been... bumped to First class. But there was also a star flying in First class: Mr. Eric McCormack, also known as Will in Will & Grace. Those BA LA flights... jet-set I tell you. Jet-set.

Reverent hesitating gestures by Gorod

And he does it again ... My friend Gorod with this exquisite post.

"Looking in each other's eyes is touching"... hummm... now I feel semi-depressed. Don't know quite why though.

Signs you might be in love or on the verge of

* You say stupid things you weren't meant to say and you aren't even drunk.

* You try and create opportunities to talk / email / text her that are tremendously lame, in fact "Homer" lame.

* You fall a sleep with extreme difficulty and wake up at odd hours and can't go back to sleep again... all this and there isn't any more jet lag to blame.

* You write blog posts on it.

What I got on my "style of seduction" quiz

Disclaimer: I do not agree with the findings the very least... I am actually shocked.

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Public apology

Well, just wanted to publicly apologize to my great friend J. I missed his birthday on January 2nd and would just like to say happy birthday to him and apologize for having missed the date.

Film: The Good Shepherd

What a movie!

Fantastic cast: Matt Damon at an exceptional level and even Angelina Jolie (not a fan) behaving like a prime actress.

Tone and pace: light, slow. I have to confess I fell asleep yesterday while trying to watch it the first time, but I blame it on my jet lag. It all makes sense.

Direction: de Niro as a Director achieves great heights with this tale of espionage, betrayal and family... yes, it's all about family.

I really liked it. It's toned down and really works as a movie. Watch it!

Home ... -8 degress of it and of losing weight

Back home, everything - or almost - is white, -8 degress outside... 25 degrees or so inside and the clear notion of a new year with some good resolutions (they are always good aren't they?) and also some resolve to put them in practice.

Losing weight has been the first on the "project plan" and so far so good: strong drive, not feeling overly "lost" in my diet and to compensate for lack of physical exercise outside - no patience for gyms and the winter is definitely harsh around here - I have bought a Wii (ok, ok, you won, but not because it's better than the PS3).

It feels good to be home, although the next flight is just around the corner.