“You have a phone call.”
“Sorry?”
“You have a phone call from a woman.”
“Who?”
“She hasn’t told me her name.”
“Thanks. Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Who is this?”
“It’s me. Don’t you recognize me?”
“Well, not really. I’m sorry. Should I?”
“Yes, you should.”
“Who are you, if I may ask?”
“I’m the woman of your life.”
“Is this a dream again?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Well, what do you look like then?”
“Surprise.”
“How old are you?”
“Surprise again.”
“Well, can you tell me anything about yourself?”
“Yes, I’m the woman of your life.”
“How will I meet you?”
“You just will, when you stop thinking about it.”
“How will I know it’s you?”
“Well, you won’t… it will just happen.”
“Like in fairy tales?”
“No, like in real life. We’ll get to meet each other. We’ll like each other more and more and we’ll spend the rest of our lives together.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes. That’s pretty much it.”
“Buzzzzzz.”
“Oh, damn, 8 o’clock again… time to get ready for work.”

Hi (Name of girl here),

You have been awfully quiet these days. Hope it’s not too much work and that you still haven’t turned into a bull-shitting, work-aholic professional :-)

There has been a very important theme in my mind for the past few days: how lousy the coffee in London is.

Since you are probably an expert in this matter, why don’t we have a coffee this weekend (a lousy one) to discuss it?
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Now, wait a minute. That would have been the e-mail I would have written to you.

With a 99% probability (or even higher, as pattern shows), you would have said you couldn’t, etc, etc.

And that’s just the part I don’t get AT ALL (yes, this is me being transparent).

I don’t know you at all. I don’t know where you are at in your life: if you’re dating someone, if you are strongly considering celibacy or even some other options that just include not receiving stupid e-mails.

My point is just that I like meeting people. If they are interesting (yes, this is the case with you and I would like to think it’s the case with me as well), I like to talk to them and get to know them better. That’s ALL. It’s really as simple as that.

Since I realize this e-mail is probably weird – even a bit shocking (it’s not too much, is it?) and definitely intrusive – as in any “spam aware” mailing-list, just send me an e-mail with the word “unsubscribe” and that’s it, no more weird and somewhat pointless e-mails.

Nein

P.S.: Forgive me for trying too hard, but I just saw too many AVIS ads when I was a kid. They used to say something like: “We are number 2, so we try harder.”
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BLOG P.S.: I never sent this e-mail and probably never will, since I think in this case in particular we are already in “unsubscribe” mode.

Having rested quite a lot the past two days and still looking to buy my first tuxedo (long story), I now see things clearly… well, not that much, but I just thought it would sound nice to say that.

Objectives for the weekend: rest, don’t think too much, go to the movies, have a nice lunch with friends… rest some more.
“Not very exciting, is it?”

No… so?

In marketing, one often talks about segmentation.
On a high-level perspective, a segment of people or potential customers are a group of people that seem to value a number of the same attributes in a specific product or range of products.
Ok, I’m not going to consider a man as a product, but for arguments sake, let’s try and have some understanding on what could differentiate a woman:

1) Physical appearance: this is the easy one, i.e., it is the one every man has a clear and specific opinion on. It’s the first thing you see. Even before talking, you are already evaluating a woman on her looks (mind you, the probably… stupid me… they definitely do the same to us). The most important attributes come in a specific order. Studies have shown that in Latin countries such as Portugal, men typically value 1) Breasts; 2) Bottom; 3) Face. Of course, this changes from man to man. Some could value 1) Face; 2) Eyes; 3) Hands (got me on that one).

2) Intellect: I would separate sheer intellect from other attributes. Intellect is about intelligence. Ability to think, ability to communicate (some would argue that’s part of other attributes… but hey, this my Blog). It is a common stereotype that men don’t value this attribute that much. They do. I just think some (not many actually) value it as having a negative impact on the overall “evaluation” of a woman (hey, maybe Natalie Portmann is right after all). Other things lie under intellect such as cultural knowledge and even common sense (if there is one).

3) Personality: often mistaken for intellect, but actually a different thing altogether. How sensitive is the woman? How does she project herself to others? People looking for what I would call the “Motherhood signs” and give a significant importance to this attribute. Me? Well, take a guess.

4) Poise/posture: extremely different from physical appearance. In analogy, it is for physical appearance what personality is for intellect. It is the way the physical appearance is projected. A woman with “élan” but regular beauty can become more attractive to a man than a simple stunningly beautiful woman with no “élan”.

5) Cultural background: typically defined by geographic origin and upbringing. A lot is said about Latin girls, but I would say that from my experience an average Portuguese girl is as similar to a Spanish one than to an English one. Of course, a Spanish girl that has lived all her life in Spain is different from one who has lived all her life in England, so there are few patterns here. Social background has influence, and so do many other things.

Probably you could give a list with more, much more attributes, but it really doesn’t matter, because the real problem is that it all comes down to your own view on THAT specific woman.
Some even go through the process of mentally imagining the woman they are looking for, but as I typically say the biggest risk is not that you won’t find that woman, but that you DO find her.
As Nike put it so well, “Just do it”. Don’t think, act. But don’t be stupid, don’t get trapped in the illusion of perfection. Unfortunately, insensitivity seems to be a good way of dealing with it. As a friend of mine put it, I prefer calling it “getting rid of the pedestal syndrome”.
As I (not too gently) put it: “No woman deserves that I disrespect myself by putting her in a pedestal”.
“Extreme” – you might say.

Maybe, maybe… just, just maybe.

Ok. Now I’m in London.
“So what?” – you might ask.
Well, so I’ve been given the chance to sort-of start over.
New job.
New life.
In a new city.
Once in a while, I go out at night for a walk.
Fortunately, I live in a nice neighbourhood and it’s good to be walking in a deserted London.
I have to think once in a while and actually just have a chance of not thinking at all.
That said, I’ve understood the peaceful life that I now have and the value of that.
I’ve also understood that I finally found myself and liked what I found.
Life is surprising, because even when you are submitted to a long on-going routine, you can always break it and thinks change ever so quickly.
“What about women?”
Always a tough question… sorry, answer.
I just don’t worry any more.
I worry a lot more about myself now. Not in a typical egotistical fashion, but rather in a self-respecting way. Respecting my body, my soul… my spiritual life.
“What about women?”
The question keeps creeping in.
The answer doesn’t.
No idea… That’s it. Never actually understood what this Blog should be about, but now I got it.
It couldn’t be about me. Definitely not about London, so it will be about women… at least some sort of distorted view (mine) on them.

Cheers.