Arrogant? Who? Me?

A couple of years ago, in a particular bonus round at a company I worked for, my expected "grade" was lowered at the meeting itself.

I was obviously mad and wanted to know what happened. After enquiring with a couple of friendlies that were senior enough to be on that meeting, I was told that one of the most senior guys had "black-balled" me. In effect, he exerted a sort of veto on my top "grade".

I was obviously even madder and further enquired, only to find out that he had said the following about me: "He's very arrogant. I know he's extremely good, but still he's very arrogant and that's simply not ok."

At this time, I was boiling, but there was something strange going on. I was very pissed off on the one hand, but I found myself staring at the "virtual mirror" in the vanity of having been called "extremely good" on the other hand. I think I was trying to convince myself that I was actually not arrogant and that I was so good that this guy just wanted to show me who was boss.

I was most probably wrong, but that's not the point.

The point is that my relationship with this person while we were in the same company was always tense, but after we both left, we have actually re-engaged and have a very good rapport. In effect, I would almost dare call him a friend. He has indeed helped me sort out some aspects of my career in a very direct manner and has been very helpful whenever I have reached out to him.

The story is really about circumstances that change people. That's why I'm not such a big believer in the whole "absolute enemy" paradigm where people are enemies full-stop. I think people are led to be enemies by themselves sure, but also by circumstances.

I cherish the good relationship I have with this person today and albeit arrogant (I re-emphasize that I most probably am... and only my remaining grain of humility would allow me not to say that indeed I am arrogant), I was still able to suspend disbelief for a moment and that moment changed the way we related to each other.

The lesson is never take your enemy for granted... he might not be your enemy after all :-)

----- P.S.: This is my 50th post on Nein. I'm very happy! -----