Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Fiction: Come on

"Come on!"
"Come on, what?"
"Come on, let me see it"
"See what? There's nothing to see"
"You know. You can be a prick sometimes"
"So you keep telling me. Come on, don't be upset. I just"
"You just what?"
"I just think it's too early to show"
"Show it, show it!"
"Now, that's more like a 5 year old"
"As if Mr. Adult here never gets carried away"
"Fair point. No, I won't show you"
"Don't put your tongue out like an arrogant kid, which you are... but you know, it's not proper"
"I'll show you what's proper"
"I'll run"
"Please do"
"Come on, don't do that. We've just had lunch"
"Good exercise. You keep telling me I need to exercise"
"I'm faster than you"
"Yes, but we are in a confined space. I like to believe it's more about strategy"
"Oh, Mr. Strategist. Oh, I'm so scared"
"Girl, you are so going to be caught and then tickled into submission"
"Ok, ok. Take this."
"Why did you throw that water at me?"
"Oh, to freshen you up"
"I'm going to get you"

"Well...we've been running around the room for a couple of minutes, not making much headway"
"Yeah, I'm a bit tired"
"Me too"
"Shall we negotiate?"
"Yeah, I want to see it. I want to read it"
"Ok, but just a glimpse of the beginning of the first chapter"
"Ok, I promise"
"Here it is"
"Ok, ok..."
"Can you please read it without the sound effects?"
"Ok. Sorry"

"So, what do you think?"
"I'm on page 5. Come on. Let me read more"
"No"
"Ok. Well, I have a question: who is the girl you mention. I mean, who did you base it on?"
"Hummm"
"Well, you don't need to share. I'm just a good friend after all"
"You're teasing me"
"Yes, and?"
"How can I say this?"
"Come on, just tell me, even if I don't know her"
"It's... It's you"
"Sorry?!"
"Shit. How can I...? I really like you"
"Yes, you've said that in the past"
"I mean, I really really like you and have failed to express this...emotion for as long as we've been friends. I guess I really like you as a friends, but potentially would like to..."
"Don't say it!"
"Ok, I won't"
"I should go, shouldn't I?"
"No. Look. We are good friends. Let's just..."
"Forget all about this?"
"No, shit. What the hell am I saying? Look, I will not use the big L word, but I want to try it out. To see if we can be more than friends...slowly"
"But you know there's no way back, don't you?"
"I do and I don't know what to say"
"So don't"
"I won't"
"You do"
"Ok, I will shut up ... now"

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now you've done it. Stuff like that always happens when you watch people read your work.

You should give them the work and leave the room. Or give it to them to take away, and you get together a week later to discuss it.

It gives them time to digest the ideas, and you can't maintain the hightened level of anxiety for that long, so it takes the edge off.

Nein said...

Agree, but it's a bit deeper than that.